Wednesday, March 16, 2005
today's a off day for me, no need to teach the kids cause its term break for them
yay~
resting at home right now, checking the university status and thinking about my future
sometimes, i find myself stuck in situations that i could have easily gotten out of
like example... scoring mediocre results for A levels...
and yet, there are always more reasons that i can blame them with
that's wat i hate about myself
always finding excuses to cover my own blardy mistakes
now to think about it
i think i deserve what im gonig through right now
like what i'll tell anyone, "get on wif life yah, it doesnt end here."
but right inside my heart, life has ended already
working monotously in BSL is making me feel worse about my unforseen future
my only relief from such disgust is my piano teaching
at least that's something im confident about
and yet, i know, i dowan to be a piano teacher for the rest of my life
and yah, about this issue... everything that is going on right now is going to affect
THE REST OF MY FOKING LIFE
guess im just thinking and brooding too much about it
but hey, its my unpredictable future im seeing right here
that's why, i cant afford to make any more fatal steps like wat i did 2 years ago
who can dare say they are really sure of what they want to do in the future?
its 30 to 40 years of the same job we are talking about
eventually, i doubt we will be happy with what we are working as
or rather, we will be merely doing our job for the sake of responsibility and $
so should we really choose our courses accourding to our interest?
personally, my answer is a NO
as we go through different phases in our lives, we will have different forcus and hence interest
maybe, im thinking too far out into the future
but really after going through all these,
thinking about YOUR FUTURE is more important than ever
any wrong move will destroy your future
feeling even more confused than ever
now i understand why my sister went through such depression last year
guess it runs in the family blood
we are all such failures
especially me
foking BSL work tmr
give me a break
urgh
i blogged @
10:30 PM
Sunday, March 06, 2005
once again, im experiencing one of the most difficult times of my life
but hey, im strong, i will get through everything
i guess...
shall blog abit about today
lolz
had lessons this morning till afternoon as usual
the students were surprisingly obedient today
no rubbish playing and no lazy fingers
but... wen xi cried because she cannot count
well... she only learn for 2 months...
think she never met such difficulties before since she is always successful in everything she does
hmm... kids... should learn to take failures more optimistically
afterall, they are still young
they can still afford to make mistakes
unlike me
went on to meet up with melissa at around 5pm
so late... zzzzzz... so tired after teaching, haha~
saw hong tat and a girl holding hands at dhoby ghaut mrt station
lolz
then saw them again outside pizza hut
*puzzled*
wow... the world is so so so small...
saw alan too
well, he was alone and he couldnt hear me screaming at him from afar
wth
lolz~
this is a small world afterall
went to walk around first
bought a theory book then a OP shirt at a sales
den to jack's place and talk till 9pm
was playing with the candle at our table and trying to irritate mel by attempting to extinguish it
well... guess i was too tired that i became nutty
*shesh*
had sirloin and cat fish, superb
i like beef... power... though i was too carried away by the potato that i neglected the beef and it ended up less juicy than it should be when it was sizzling hot
lolz
wasted
walked more to digest the unwanted fats in our bodies
went to this certain shop
well... all i can say is... mel is very adventurous
i will buy her a card from there next time
took 14 home and passed by temasek which looks so scary at night
wth
wat a day
but it has really taken my thoughts away from certain things
hmm...
something i learnt today
HEED SENIORS' ADVICES
well... i learnt it the hard way
guess someone will be sniggering away with laughters..
but really, i regretted watever move i had made previously
nvm
im still optimistic
afterall, i will never want to be like my sister
i will learn to be smarter and get through this
God, give me the strength and luck i need to fulfil my hopes
please
i blogged @
12:45 AM
Friday, March 04, 2005
wow... its finally here... 4 March 2005
my last blog before i receive my life determining results
yah... life determining
my collegues have been telling me there's still a long way to go even if i dont score well
well... even someone of my age told me that
but hey, its totally different for me
i really put in alot for results
right now, im still so young, so yah, results are of course the most important issue to me
im afterall... a student
im superstitous de...
i have been a really good girl because i really want my results
i gave up many things for results
and so, today, the earth should go round and present me with what i have always dearly begged for
GOOD A LEVEL'S RESULTS!!!
haiz... okie, the results are out anyway
just hope the results are really really gooood.
its 7.30am right now, and only one person is online
*everyone should be having sleepless night right?*
haiz... i fell asleep after pondering too much about the results
ironic isnt it?
lolz...
listening to jay chou's dao dai
the tune really suits my mood now
so soothing and .... jay chou-ish
haha...
its so foggy this morning
actually, it has been like this for a long time
lolz
now i understand why i have always felt the sky doesnt match wif our surroundings at all
its because we destroyed our natural surroundings
have been working at shenton way nowadays to audit a shipping firm
more interested to take up maritime now
shipping terms = alot of headaches
very fun
hahahaha, mind-provoking
i was working on the 15th floor, same as my apartment's level
but the view is so different
from my house, i see east coast, abit of tow area, and the sea
but at shenton way, its buildings after buildings
and when it rains, i get a full window view of droplets of water which makes them look like snows
really cool
but imagine, i have to work in this kinda environment next time
will i be able to survive in such a competitive environment
even for now, the experience hasnt been as great as i thought it would be
yah, im quite a spoilt person when it comes to work
i have the choice of being a music teacher or a normal worker
but i really like my collegues in my audit firm
especially Faustina aka the first person who brought me out for an audit
yah, i know i havent been out wif alllll of them
but the first person who brings me will always be unique to me
the both of us got like a strange bond
lolz
she bully me, i suan her
but at the end of day, its still the mutual respect that kept us working together steadily
yah, sometimes the both of us act childish
but hey, its part of keeping this work fun isnt it?
if not, everyday will be so dull
she really guided me through alot, lolz, shall talk more about her next time
im dying to spill her secrets!!! arh!!!
but im of course not going to say them out yah... haha
gtg and meditate before i get my results
wish me all the best okie?
jay chou rocks!!
but results still more important... :p
i blogged @
8:00 AM
